I was becoming overwhelmed and obsessive. I do not do well with either of those things; overwhelm or obsession.
I found myself dealing with depression again. It has been a long road back to “normal” or my “new normal” and I am finding that Facebook does not help anymore.
Apparently, everyone on Facebook has a better life than I do and THAT is depressing.
How self absorbed and self centered that sounds–BUT, apparently I am not alone!
I had a better life once too and I just can’t seem to get it back. I am like a hamster in a wheel. I am running but getting nowhere.
I still deal with the fear and the loss of confidence that hit me like a ton of bricks when my life imploded.
All of a sudden, I feel anger again at people and situations I thought I had dealt with.
What the FUCK?
No, not WTF…definitely What the FUCK??
I first signed on to Facebook about three years or so ago at the urging of three of my (ex’s) nieces.
It actually became a lifeline and I “friended” and got “friended” by some very cool, interesting, lovely people.
They were my lifeline.
My family and friends began asking “WHY are you always on Facebook?”
Well, ummm, let’s see…I have no money, I cannot work, I am struggling with physical and emotional conditions and ummm, “Where the FUCK would you like me to be?”
At least you know where I am and that I am.
Now, the opposite is occurring.
Facebook is no longer filling a void.
Facebook is making me feel empty.
UNplugging is scary
So, I immediately signed back in to my Twitter and Google+ accounts. I actually hate Twitter and I am not that crazy about Google+ so the chances of me being on either app too much is slim.
This has nothing to do with anyone but me. I LOVE the ladies in my bewildered boomers-women in transition group page.
I LOVE the people on Mojo4Life. I LOVE my Chakraholics and of course, I LOVE (most) of the people on my personal page.
I just need to do what SEEMS to be right for me.
If that is self absorbed and self centered, well so be it.
I am the only self I’ve got.
Thanks for letting your VERY bewildered boomer randomly muse once again. xoxoej